Skipped 3rd Year like a HO!
Well, I skipped third year and am now awesome. I'm living with Zach Carter and John Wunderlin
in a townhouse on 13th street, which is infinitely better than Copeley. As soon as I got to school, we went out
partying, got drunk, ganked some alcohol, and I got poison ivy on the side of my face.
Yep, it sucked, and I disappeared for about a week and did nothing but play millipede.
Which I then became fucking awesome at; that and Big Bird's Egg Catch, game of the
Once my rash of death cleared up, I began dating Kelly Vandersluis and luckily,
things progressed rapidly enough that we were together by the time God decided to bitch
slap me with another bout of poison Ivy AND the worst sore throat I've ever had; thus she
HAD to deal with me. Another seven miserable days passed in which I consumed a total of 240
throat losenges. Once that was over, things were much better between Kelly and I.
Here is a cute as hell picture of us pretending to be happy together:
John's birthday soon came and we threw a party to celebrate. I, however, did not invite anybody
for an unknown reason; perhaps I thought I shared some friends with my housemates. Anyway,
the party was (in my opinion) a terrible catastrophe and nobody I knew came, with the exception of
Justin and pavement guy. There was a significant population of first years. Here are some pics:
Kelly's birthday soon rolled around and I wanted to make her feel special. To do this, I chalked
pictures of Trogdor, and other assorted homestarrunner quotes all over her apartment complex. Without her sleuthful
perception, the whole day could have been ruined since I put her inaugural gift outside at the wrong apartment. Thankfully,
she traced back the weird markings and discovered it. We enjoyed a very special dinner at Vivace's before I unveiled my ultimate
gift idea: a free day at King's Dominion followed by a concert.
The King's Dominion trip took place on a day in October with the perfect weather. We were too busy having fun to take many pictures, but there were many memorable moments. These included forcing Kelly onto a couple of rides she was reluctant to go on,
finding the best 'food' deal in the park, observing the slightly elevated redneck population, and just being the oldest and hottest couple
in the park. The volcano's accelerated start took us completely off-guard as the very first ride we went on. However, we saved the
scariest for last, which was the Drop Zone. That ride was amazing, and far taller than it seemed from the ground. What really surprised me is that they gave it a rating of 4 out of 5, whereas most of the costers were given 5's, yet it was far more intense. Here's a pic:
However, it is arguable that we most enjoyed the thrilling ride known as a merry-go-round. Here's a pic of me conquering my steed:
Soon after King's Dominion I was due in DC again. However, this time was for traffic court. Since my car decided to break down just before I left, I needed to borrow Zach's Van. The behemoth served me well, although when I got out of court, I spent a half hour looking for my ZX2 only to realize I had driven the blue van in front of me. It's amazing how slowly time goes when you do not have wheels. The following few weeks seemed like an eternity. They were, however, punctuated by an event known as the Colonnade Ball. I went with this girl I affectionately call my girlfriend, and Maren came with this dude named Tyler. We gave our dates a few warmth jobs before a delectable dinner at Southern Culture which is on Main Street. I had the Jambalaya, which marked the third straight restaurant at which I had the same dish. The ball itself was a laughable affair at best. Although Kelly and I made a stunning pair, the calibre of individuals present (with the sole exception of Maren) was significantly lower than we had predicted. It appeared as if the event was designed for those people who never leave their dorm rooms to go out otherwise. I tried to spice up the Virginia Reel a bit by slapping some ass and dirty dancing, but I think I offended a lot of people. Rejoice, for here art thy pictures of doom: