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Back to Summer 2002

My second year at the university marked swift change in my life. I spent a good three weeks as a completely single man, then began an intrepid dating relationship throughout which I just could not keep up. Thus it ended in less than a month and I was fending for myself again, a tad less undaunted than before, but confident nonetheless. I acquired a few new paid companions, Gavin Holland, who I knew last year, and Zach Carter, both total sluts:


As well as 'Slut', they both completely personify the words 'Total Rock Action' and have since broadened my understanding of the arts as well as many academic disciplines. My newfound music-induced craze led me eventually to the realms of high-fidelity audio and the desire for audiophile quality stereo components. Result, -$1700 debit:


The cables cost $50; each. You may be asking yourself how such an investment could be worth it. I have two reasons, the first is 'Exit Music [for a film]' by Radiohead, and the second is:


This picture may be confusing to you engineers who don't realize that sound is invisible. Also humanities majors are at risk. The person to the right is John Wunderlin, my courageous and tolerant roommate, the other is of course Zach. On the shelf may be seen our accumulating beer collection, a byproduct of my decision to start drinking this semester.

A number of weeks into the school year, John, Zach and I decided to road trip to Washington DC for a Q and Not U concert. We hitched a ride with a snobby student lexus owner who put on 'Poison the Well' all trip and then proclaimed to be too mature to listen to the same thing for more than 15 minutes. Can you say bitch-tang? We arrived and picked up another slut, Ben Bruno:

All of you who think his shirt (the last word is costume) is not funny are probably terrorists. I took some pictures at the show but the lighting was so poor that they didn't come out well at all. After the show we killed time by moping around Falls Church ruining the uptight people's lives and providing entertainment for the cool one's. We discovered the simplest method of achieving this was to don an FBI hat, walk into a random store, and yell FBI repeatedly while making a purchase:


On the way home, we brought Ben and Zach's brother Ryan with us for sexual purposes:

Zach, hating his brother to the most extreme possible extent, couldn't stand sitting next to him in the back seat. Eventually, the urge to run won him over and he bolted, thank god Ryan was up for retrieving him:


To the displeasure of the rest of us, they made it back to the car in one piece. Once back at the university, we sat and twiddled our thumbs for a few weeks until my friend Jon Stover(Cornell) decided to come and visit us. Coincidentally, Jamie's boyfriend Dave visited this same weekend. This picture is us all enjoying ourselves to a nearly illegal extent:


Stover is closest the the camera with his mechanical replica of a foot resting on the basketball. When I think of how Vietnam has affected us, it angers me so. The couch is accomodating Dave, Jamie and John but not necessarily in that order. We partied hard that whole weekend, and before it was over, Fugazi's main man, Ian something came to C-ville to premier their documentary at the Newcomb Hall Theater. We had to check it out:


As you can see, Stover and I were thoroughly enjoying the documentary. Stover returned to has coven of whores soon thereafter and I went back to my frattacular wenching. This year I'm living in Copeley which is far away, but has a few perks, including proximity to the shopping center and Klockner Field:


Sorry for the blurriness, my camera's flash was battling the stadium light and lost. Pretty good crowd for this game, its likely we won, our soccer team is one of few we can depend on; *cough* basketball *cough*.

Before long, it was October 31st and the Holloween parties were beckoning. I decided to dress up as a lacrosse equivalent of Jason. A cheap and intimidating constume which definetely scored points with the ladies:


And one of many reasons you shouldn't fuck with me. November 5th is known to most people as election day, but better yet, its my birthday. John decided to be a poser and celebrate his with me, which I suppose made for a better party. We obtained the $120 worth of alcohol and set up a quadraphonic sound system with all my sonic resources. Result:


This does not include the 5 cases of beer in the fridge, of course. Alex quickly devised a method of keeping track of how many drinks the birthday boy(s) have had:


Being an engineer, Alex did not think of the marker's future ability to be 'washed off' and the following remains on our wall even to this day:


Some of the extremely few people to show up that wouldn't leave include Dan and Ariel:


Their expressions can be explained simply by saying the camera wasn't the only thing flashing them. wink wink. Dan recently decided to cut his hair, I think to throw me off. I say we beat him; with squirrels. The couch was taken over early on in the party by several people whose behavior is so foul I will decline to mention them here:


I put the camera away before taking car bombs to get the party moving, so you'll have to use your imagination for what happened later that evening. It did NOT involve child labor, I can assure you. At this point, our time in classes was getting short and it was about time for me to get started on my Applied Linear Models final project. I decided to do a regression on data I collected from Hotornot.com to determine what attributes of a person male or female determine their score, and how. The results are pretty awesome. For males, the rating was equal to approximately -2.41 + .475 (only if blonde) - .0235*Age + .157*Height(inches). This is interesting because both weight and the amount of skin showing in the picture dropped from the model. For females rating was determined by -.32 + .328 (skin showing in picture from 0 to 10) +.218*Height - .0541*Weight(pounds). Hair color and age dropped out for females. This is likely due to the fact that hotornot lets you browse by age. I of course put myself up as a test subject. My model failed horribly in my case. It predicted a rating of 8.9 where I'm actually a...

It turns out I got deleted for not checking it, but I relisted myself for your pleasure:
 Colin on Hotornot
It might take a few days for my rating to show up.

The remaining 3 weeks of the school year were strenuous for us all. I met someone who had an immediate and drastic impact on my life. I've never sat with someone at 4am and listened to Pink Floyd's Echoes with a final the next day before. But, before this becomes more like a diary... I'll let you know that as of yet, nothing has really happened there. Just before leaving for Winter Break, I decided to implant some ink on my body in a painful process known as tattooing:


If you do not think it is the coolest mutherfuckin tattoo ever, then you are probably a terrorist... again.

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