We're Not in Kansas Anymore Back to Index

This section of the website is a nostalgic recollection of my first year experience. Special thanks to Ryan King (the genius) for a majority of the pictures and even some of the whitty captioning. I arrived at UVA in the Fall of 2001 momentarily single and ultra impressionable. I moved into Maupin Dorm in the Alderman residence area:

Maupin had everything. Power mad RA's and Streamers to name a few. I quickly urinated on everything in site, for obvious reasons. My Suite consisted of me and nine others, and was quite roomy:

Here's a picture of my tolerant roommate Aaron Miracle, with his stack of Bio study cards:

Among others, the cooler suitemates were Ryan King and Zane Johnson:

My RA's name was Hank, and considering his appearance, it is an appropriate name. He was enrolled in a sperm donation study for much of the year, yum:

Here at UVA, you quickly learn that attending football games is far more important than attending classes. Before games, us Maupenites would frequently perform strange rituals like hair coloring and the like:

The person doing the hair work is Nick Byram, a suitemate and good friend of mine. I'm coming down the stairs with my wife (ie lacrosse stick). I played lax back then and was pretty damn good. More on that later. We soon left for the game and had nowhere to sit:

However, we soon found a place and watched our big people beat up Duke's big people. We got a great picture in at the end of the game. I'm next to Nick toward the bottom. Notice John Wunderlin at the top left:

You may notice some people have band-aids on their heads. They are retarded. Actually it was also the first day of dorm-wide assassins and that was the immunity. Being as absent minded as i am, I was the first to die, within 4 minutes of the game's beginning. It ended up going on for two months with Nick winning. He's lucky I went out so fast.

Although football is entertaining, it cannot compare to the intensity of Virginia club lacrosse. I immediately began starting on faceoffs for UVA and scored about a goal per game for my first semester:

I'm number 28, and in the top picture, I am the one who just got rid of the ball and is about to be flattened. The bottom picture was in the yearbook for first year. Here's a picture of the entire team:

I'm second from the left on the bottom row. Here's a picture taken after Thanksgiving of my suitemates and I. I'm the one with the beautiful face:

The others I have yet to acknowledge are Dan and Ahmet. Dan's from England and picks up chicks with his amazing accent. He once taught me to say 'Get ya coat luv, ya pulled' which never worked for me. Here's a picture of me abducting my then girlfriend Jill:

People thought we were crazy... I wonder why. Jill's hobbies included being obnoxious like me, and putting holes in the wall of my suite. Before Christmas, Nick obtained a Game Cube. He then did not shower for days and missed a nearly infinite number of classes:

Remember the picture of Aaron with his 11" stack of Bio study cards? Well that was taken around finals time. Not being shy, I whipped out mine as well:

Although mine only measured 4.5", I had significantly more girth, which is all that matters, according to women. Anyway, thanks to my intrepid studying efforts, the semester ended appropriately... 4.0 style.

Forward to First Year Part 2
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