Death to Children!
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Winter break was amazing. Jill and I took a trip to Ft. Myers Florida and had a blast. However,
UVA's absence left a void in our lives that needed refilling. Nick got a girlfriend too, her name
is Alexandra. Here's us enjoying Nick's Nintendo soon after break:
I once kicked Nick out of his own room so I could play on his Nintendo with Jill.
Nick then obtained a pair of sticky hand thingies and proceeded to attack me immediately upon my exit.
Well you wouldn't believe it, but I brought a bit of Rochester down to UVA with me upon my return:
This is a shot of UVA's 'The Lawn' with the Pavilions on either side and the Rotunda at the end.
The best part is that its covered in snow.
Homer sits in the middle and molests a boy for all eternity.
This is a shot of my dorm taken from the quad (the grassy area flanked by three dorms in
Alderman residences). Look at all the fabulous snow.
Here's the amphitheater covered in awesome snow.
doesn't it look a lot better with snow? I think it does.
Here's a waffle covered in snow. Maybe.
If any of you were ever UVA first years, you'd understand the awesomeness of the waffle.
In the winter months, the only activity worth doing is attending basketball games. Even though we
haven't made the tournament in the two seasons I've witnessed, there have been some high points. This
is one of them:
87-84 UVA victory over Duke University. 'nuff said. The person in the first picture on the bottom left isn't me, but Ewan, another english dude who lived in the suite next to mine.
Now we are going to venture a look at some of the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen
at the University of Virginia. The first is by far the most hilarious:
This sign was found on the INSIDE of the doors to Memorial Gymnasium. If you are confused,
you should be. Here's an excerpt from Ryan's website:
'There are some pretty bad ways to find out someone is gay. Iíd say a bad way to find out about the homosexuality of the guy youíve been working out with all semester is to unload your camera and find heís been checking out your package in those workout pants. Just for conformation: yes, Colin James Parker is amazingly gay. Sorry Jill, but how can you compete? But hey, congratulations on his breaking into the mafia money laundering business! I understand he gets over $50 of tax-free profit from each high-end graphics card he sells. He doesnít know that itís a mafia person who hijacked a truck full of computer equipment, but it seems someone in Ft. Lauderdale came upon a few dozen brand new GeForce 3ís that they want to unload at about half their market value. That this person also wants to deal in cash fits in somewhere, but I canít quite place it. So Colinís been sharking Ebay with a couple boxes of equipment he got significantly below retail, or wholesale for that matter; if you want any great reasonably priced hardware get in touch. Definitely the best part of that business is the part where he gives me his old GeForce 2 Ultra as scrap. I donít know about you boys and girls, but for a free Ge2 Ultra to replace my old TNT2 I can deal with a lot of homosexuality.'
That about sums up my money making scheme for the Spring. I made about $1500 doing almost nothing, except reselling stolen goods.
Another stupid but hilarious thing was this fetus we found scewered in our Suite window:
Again, Ryan offers us an explanation:
'During the big pro-life group push, one of the protest stands brought out a trashcan full of 3500 plastic 12 week old fetuses to show us all how horrible it is. The can said that we should ďtake someĒ and that they wanted to be Ďadopted.í Who can turn down a bunch of free fetuses? After I brought back a half dozen or so aspiring plastic people, somebody decided a logical extension of the protest would be to skewer a few on coat hangers and put them in the window. The funny part was the reactions we got: pro-lifers who put the whole fetus show on to begin with had to agree, and pro-choicers interpreted it as a statement to screw the fetuses. I always just thought it was a valuable safety lesson: never keep rusty coat hangers and fetuses together.'
Forward to Summer 2002
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